Posts in Category: Drinking

#5 – How to Feel Alienated by Peers and Influencers

Hey, Saloon Banditos!

(You begin lol’ing, thinking I’m going through motions of affectation.)

I genuinely want to know.

That’s why I’m communicating with you right now.  I’m writing this with you in mind.

You’re my peers (I’ll assume influencers are off saving the world, better investing their time.  I wouldn’t want to distract with my charactry.)

Here at the Saloon, we appreciate participation of our readers and supporters.

It’s a really mindless, time-wasting endeavor Sean, Patrick, and myself have dedicated ourselves to.

We enjoy participating with peers, helping, and making others feel welcome.  It’s somewhat dastardly, and I think we’re big stupid heads for making ourselves available to others, inviting them to engage with us and our community blog.

We’re not entirely sane (for a number of reasons), but their tales as well as mine are for another time.

On with the show, shall we?

Here, I will demonstrate how to be ignored by peers and influencers.

First, let’s question why you would do the opposite:

–  Why would you want to engage your peers?

Do you think you may learn something?  Do you think you may enjoy relations with others who are passionate about similar topics?  (ha, how silly of you to think like us at the Saloon!)

–  Why would you want to feel welcome on others’ blogs?  Why would you make comments, expecting a response?  Why would you ask bloggers direct questions?  

Do you want to engage them because you respect them?  Do you ask sincere questions, looking to better yourself as a professional? (We’re about that stuff here at the Saloon.  But we’re also bat-shit crazy.  Do you really want to be associated with us and our thoughts?)

Is that really why you invest your valuable time and resources online? Wow #mindblown

…but enough of my inquisitions.  If you do happen to answer them below, I’m likely to respond.

I’ll do that;they’ve attempted to put me on medication, but I’m good at pretending sane when needed.

Contrary to me leading the witness of your attention and logic above, if you want to be devilishly-crafty about getting ignored, heed the following advice, ensuring you engage in marketing (which will always involve people) in the following manners.

Read the Frat/Sorority Blogs

When I was in college, particular frats asked me to join.  I figured, I could either waste my time and energy, convincing these souls I really wanted to be one of them and them to be my friend, all the while petting their egos, which were slovenly projected over the belt buckle of the school’s microcosm, or I could be Anthony, which was more appealing to peers I genuinely liked as well as the girlfriends of the frat dudes.

I had this thing about being independent. I think it began as a tween, a time I was also fighting them off with my Shakespeare anthology.

I know what you’re thinking.  Anthony, W(here)TF are these frat/sorority blogs?  I want to feel alienated.  I want to feel the chill silence of an influencer despite their “please comment below” invitation.

I question your sanity, but who am I to judge?  I have a Shakespeare doll in my profile picture.

That’s a pic of me going out of my way to be a little creative in thanking those who shared a post featuring me.  I know!  I’m such an a-hole for returning attention!

Any who, here’s how to identify frat/sorority blogs:

– Some have unparalleled (some unfounded) prestige attached to their name.  Much like owning a black card, a segway, or an Ivy League education,

frat blogs have a “name” attached to them.  People are likely to know about these blogs, not so much based on the content and merit of all posts, but (just) because they have a “reputation,” which makes more logical sense.

–  Notice, the blogs are not the business.  The blogs are a means to communicative ends, a means to say, “Hey, we provide a service/product to people, (potentially) you, our readers.”

Look for these frat/sorority blogs to be associated with a business of people, those looking to operate in a world full of people who interact.

However, the business isn’t (always) about attending to people; it’s about alienating them (The influential should know how to address people, right?)  If you agree, desiring helpful, real-world insights, look for these blogs, and learn from them!

Locate Influencers

WTF is an influencer?  I use the Oxford dictionary.  Not because it gives me information on word origins, supporting my writing, but because a former English professor told me to use it.  He went to Oxford he’ll have you know.

It makes sense the word influencer has celestial origins; influencers are often referred to as rockstars, ninjas, jedis, and other apropos, oft-used, and working-professional terms.

If you need further help, conduct a search using operators to locate post titles with the word, “influencer.”  Maybe some influencers have been modest and caring enough to cease celestial trajectories, going as far as providing insight on how to get their attention.  These people are likely destined for sainthood, but who am I to say?

Moreover, one could use Followerwonk to see who has high influence scores, or as they say in some circles, the most “opportunity juice.”  The higher their influence score, the better your chances of feeling alienated.

[Understand this is not foolproof.  Some successful and popular people actually do help others.  I’m not sure why this is.  Sometimes, people in power just do humanistic, good-natured things.  I remember reading about Lou Gehrig as a young dude, being impressed by his character.]

“I was very quiet, you know. I never opened my mouth. Lou made me feel like I belonged…. That’s the way he was. He was great.” – Frankie Crosetti, shortstop for Yankees in 1932, on Gehrig helping him adjust during his rookie year.

Lou’s character was likeable, even for a kid reading about him decades after he passed, to the point I had to play first-base (just like Lou).  (Actually, he was originally right-handed (most first-base players are left-handed).  His parents were poor, but bought him a baseball mitt.  It was for the wrong hand, but Lou, appreciating what his parents did for him, learned to throw with his other hand.  What a guy!  What a dumbass, right?)

Back to the influencers, I mean Influencers.  Another way to spot an influencer is to endeavor at their attention, thus likely begetting alienation.

I know!  It’s all so deliciously ironic!  The same people who build businesses, branding themselves as experts, are at times, the same ones who will make those who revere and respect them feel like they’re not good enough for their response, in some cases, snubbing the very same people who promote and pay for their services!  LOL-Epic!

Do you know who’s a big, dumb-dumb stupidhead?  James Agate is.  No, James isn’t a big dummy because he is wicked smart and an incredibly keen marketer and businessman.  He’s a dummy because he actually cares.  Wake up, James!  What will influencers think about you slumming!

I recently discussed my thoughts on the topic with James.  This is what he had to say via email.

(He’s real! (pun intended))

I agree, I like to respond wherever I can and where I think it warrants a response.

I think you can chase scale and keep that human element because it is more of a values issue isn’t it, as your organisation grows you instil virtues like ‘being human’ in everyone that joins the team.
I feel nobody is too busy to respond to comments and interact around a blog post. If you’ve got time to write it then you have time to converse with the people who were kind enough to read.
Have a good weekend

Have a good weekend…What a good guy…What a sucker!

I would deem James an influencer, but he is not about alienation.  Maybe he’ll come to his senses one day.

Go ahead.  Peruse some blogs of popular influencers and peers, especially taking note of those who have numbers of unanswered blog comments.  That solidifies stardom -having scores of unanswered comments on posts written for the purpose of communicating with others.

It’s especially cool if you can catch influencers and peers being active on Twitter, a social network.  It sometimes creates the perfect opportunity to be snubbed on a public platform.  That’s what you want!  That’s why you follow these people after all, to learn good marketing skills like ignoring others!

Try this:

– Don’t just tweet their post and their handle name.  Sure, this still supports alienation, but you’re better than that.  What you really want to do is show them you took the time out of your trivial trailer park of a life to read their thoughts.

Pull something out to champion their work, or better yet, ask them a direct question, expressing interest.  Getting dissed for being interested is even better than getting ignored just because you’re one of many!  I should know!  I love it when influencers spray me with their juice of silence.

That’s why we communicate online!  F living normal lives, communicating, and being human with other people. We’ve progressed, allowing for online, microcosmic, “no one knows who I am out of my online ivory tower of delusion,” incommunicado.  It’s great!

You could satiate your self, learning and evolving with people who are receptive, but don’t you really want to drive those Lexus relationships, though the former, Toyota-variety of people are composed of the same parts, perhaps even performing better in some instances?

Don’t you realize Knowledge and Success are founded in high-school like endeavors?  Only the most popular can attain those things.

Sean, Patrick, and myself know this.  That’s why we strive to regress; we’re not all there!  Do not follow us into temptation of these insanely unproductive and useless enterprises, which involve engaging peers, learning, evolving, and encouraging one another.

However, if you do like our style of doing things and our insanity, you always have a seat here at the Saloon.


Now, get the hell out of here.  🙂

#4 – Sunday Morning Hangover at the Saloon

Saloon of Literature Bar Rules

This delightful pic was supplied by one of our esteemed patrons Alexandra Velez. Hats off to you ma’am. Although we don’t actually want to impose any ‘rules’ within the Saloon, we were rather taken with some of the interesting thematic suggestions that the Twittersphere threw up (not literally).

Barkeep Rules Text

We’ve received plenty of suggestions, praise and comments over the last couple of weeks, and may I take this opportunity to thank you all for your support, from all 3 of us, as we genuinely appreciate every comment. Even the negative comments are good, as they help us improve and force us to think, and there is entirely no shame in being wrong once and a while.

A particular shout out must go to Mr Chris Gilchrist (aka Hitreach) for creating our awesome new header image which he generously volunteered to design. We love it and we love you Chris. Here, have a link.

In this Sunday morning love-fest I will run through some of your suggestions to see if there is any way we can implement them whilst maintaining our high standards dignity character respectability prestige ultimate goal – to provide a relaxed atmosphere where people can voice opinions without fear of being chastised. If you like any of the suggestions, then please SHOUT in the comments so that your voice will be heard. We will definitely be implementing all, some or none of the suggestions very shortly.

I appreciate you are all massively hungover so I will stop blathering on now…


After my first post about SEO conferences, a few people pointed out that the most valuable part of conferences was in the networking:


So what say you, Salooneers? Is this a worthwhile endeavour? Shall we jump on a Google+ hangout and..hang out? Or shall we take it one step further and actually (shock horror) meet up?

Saloon of Literature Anniversary Drinks

I, for one, am in.


We probably should have seen it coming, but some of our tight-arsed favourite customers wanted to set up a tab at the bar:

Free Drinks Tab

Well the good news is that everyone is free to read our posts in The Saloon! We don’t stop there, you can also comment for free, tweet about us for free and (snigger) Google+ us for free. You lucky so and sos. And we promise not to ignore you and everything.

In all seriousness, we have had a few requests from people wanting to write guest posts already. This is awesome. In the future we will definitely be looking for guest writers who bring interesting and unique ideas, but at the moment we are still trying to figure out what The Saloon actually is (part of the rationale for this post). If you have any interesting ideas for guest posts here, get in touch below.

Happy Hour

Before The Saloon was born, we chucked around a few emails about the type of content we wanted to feature. Rather than simply blog post after blog post, we were interested in implementing some discussion panels or forum-type posts. For example, we could put a question out to the community and Salooneers could pitch in with their opinions and comments. We’d not come up with an appropriate name for this, until…

‘Literature Happy Hour’. Genius. Mr Dustin J. Verburg, hat-tip to you sir. So what sort of things could we feature in Happy Hour? Anything really – we could ask ‘hot topic’ questions or present difficult SEO scenarios and ask for ideas and approaches. We would love for it to genuinely help people out in real life situations, even if they couldn’t reveal the full details of the client or scenario. It would be ‘crowdsourced consulting.’

As an example, I had a conversation with Chris Dyson on Twitter the other day where we were discussing scraping tools:

Chris shared a useful tool, which prompted a question from me on a tool I had been looking for. I am pretty sure that this tool will exist, but I can’t find it. In an example Happy Hour we could discuss various tools we have used to complete different jobs. It is not looking to be the canonical resource or ‘the complete list’, rather it would contain details of the individual experiences in their individual scenarios (By the way, if anyone has an answer to this question, then please share in the comments!).

Feedback Please

So hopefully that’s enough to stoke your appetite. If you have any thoughts on the suggestions above, or any new ideas you want us to implement, then please go ahead and comment below. And if you are still suffering from last night’s over-indulgence, why not enjoy a delicious bacon sandwich? (not free)

Bacon Sandwich

#1 – Open For Business

Welcome! The Saloon of Literature is now officially open for business. Please come in and have a seat. Have a drink. A bag of crisps or two. Maybe a bag of pork scratchings?

The Saloon is designed to be a place of solace for all you busy internet marketers, where you can come to read and take part in open, honest discussions. Sometimes our musings will be tongue in cheek, and sometimes they will aim to incite, inflame and provoke. Please feel free to take any bait and run with it.

We have lots of ideas for content, in various forms and configurations, and welcome any comments or suggestions you may have in this regard.

Our first proper post will be released later today. For now, we will simply copy and paste our ‘Behind the Bar’ page for your delectation, for as a wise man once said. “It’s not duplicate content if you put quotes marks around it.”

Bottoms up,
Sean, Patrick and Anthony

Saloon of Literature - Behind the Bar

“The Saloon of Literature is a watering hole for the mind. The Saloon is run by three procacious young barstewards; Sean Revell, known for the most annoying domain name ever, Anthony Pensabene, known for his content-based musings, and Patrick Hathaway, known for his refreshingly honest posts about link reconsideration.

The Saloon will play host to opinion and insight on the overlapping worlds of SEO, social media, digital marketing and business. This blog was borne of a mutual hatred of blog comments of the form, ‘This is awesome, thanks for sharing’. Such meaningless banality has no place in the Saloon, where patrons are encouraged to participate in healthy debate and offer up the value of perspective. The Saloon is a place where lonely drinkers can go if they don’t agree with something, or if they want to challenge convention, rather than drowning in a self-regurgitating echo chamber of bullshit.

In the Saloon, opinion is revered. Conjecture is entertained. Banter is positively endorsed.

We will not condemn you, we will not ostracize or exclude you; for we are as you – lonely drinkers at the bar.”