Hey, Saloon Banditos! How.are.you?
(You begin lol’ing, thinking I’m going through motions of affectation.)
I genuinely want to know.
That’s why I’m communicating with you right now. I’m writing this with you in mind.
You’re my peers (I’ll assume influencers are off saving the world, better investing their time. I wouldn’t want to distract with my charactry.)
Here at the Saloon, we appreciate participation of our readers and supporters.
It’s a really mindless, time-wasting endeavor Sean, Patrick, and myself have dedicated ourselves to.
We enjoy participating with peers, helping, and making others feel welcome. It’s somewhat dastardly, and I think we’re big stupid heads for making ourselves available to others, inviting them to engage with us and our community blog.
We’re not entirely sane (for a number of reasons), but their tales as well as mine are for another time.
On with the show, shall we?
Here, I will demonstrate how to be ignored by peers and influencers.
First, let’s question why you would do the opposite:
- Why would you want to engage your peers?
Do you think you may learn something? Do you think you may enjoy relations with others who are passionate about similar topics? (ha, how silly of you to think like us at the Saloon!)
- Why would you want to feel welcome on others’ blogs? Why would you make comments, expecting a response? Why would you ask bloggers direct questions?
Do you want to engage them because you respect them? Do you ask sincere questions, looking to better yourself as a professional? (We’re about that stuff here at the Saloon. But we’re also bat-shit crazy. Do you really want to be associated with us and our thoughts?)
Is that really why you invest your valuable time and resources online? Wow #mindblown
…but enough of my inquisitions. If you do happen to answer them below, I’m likely to respond.
I’ll do that;they’ve attempted to put me on medication, but I’m good at pretending sane when needed.
Contrary to me leading the witness of your attention and logic above, if you want to be devilishly-crafty about getting ignored, heed the following advice, ensuring you engage in marketing (which will always involve people) in the following manners.
Read the Frat/Sorority Blogs
When I was in college, particular frats asked me to join. I figured, I could either waste my time and energy, convincing these souls I really wanted to be one of them and them to be my friend, all the while petting their egos, which were slovenly projected over the belt buckle of the school’s microcosm, or I could be Anthony, which was more appealing to peers I genuinely liked as well as the girlfriends of the frat dudes.
I had this thing about being independent. I think it began as a tween, a time I was also fighting them off with my Shakespeare anthology.
I know what you’re thinking. Anthony, W(here)TF are these frat/sorority blogs? I want to feel alienated. I want to feel the chill silence of an influencer despite their “please comment below” invitation.
I question your sanity, but who am I to judge? I have a Shakespeare doll in my profile picture.
That’s a pic of me going out of my way to be a little creative in thanking those who shared a post featuring me. I know! I’m such an a-hole for returning attention!
Any who, here’s how to identify frat/sorority blogs:
- Some have unparalleled (some unfounded) prestige attached to their name. Much like owning a black card, a segway, or an Ivy League education,
frat blogs have a “name” attached to them. People are likely to know about these blogs, not so much based on the content and merit of all posts, but (just) because they have a “reputation,” which makes more logical sense.
- Notice, the blogs are not the business. The blogs are a means to communicative ends, a means to say, “Hey, we provide a service/product to people, (potentially) you, our readers.”
Look for these frat/sorority blogs to be associated with a business of people, those looking to operate in a world full of people who interact.
However, the business isn’t (always) about attending to people; it’s about alienating them (The influential should know how to address people, right?) If you agree, desiring helpful, real-world insights, look for these blogs, and learn from them!
WTF is an influencer? I use the Oxford dictionary. Not because it gives me information on word origins, supporting my writing, but because a former English professor told me to use it. He went to Oxford he’ll have you know.
It makes sense the word influencer has celestial origins; influencers are often referred to as rockstars, ninjas, jedis, and other apropos, oft-used, and working-professional terms.
If you need further help, conduct a search using operators to locate post titles with the word, “influencer.” Maybe some influencers have been modest and caring enough to cease celestial trajectories, going as far as providing insight on how to get their attention. These people are likely destined for sainthood, but who am I to say?
Moreover, one could use Followerwonk to see who has high influence scores, or as they say in some circles, the most “opportunity juice.” The higher their influence score, the better your chances of feeling alienated.
[Understand this is not foolproof. Some successful and popular people actually do help others. I'm not sure why this is. Sometimes, people in power just do humanistic, good-natured things. I remember reading about Lou Gehrig as a young dude, being impressed by his character.]
“I was very quiet, you know. I never opened my mouth. Lou made me feel like I belonged…. That’s the way he was. He was great.” – Frankie Crosetti, shortstop for Yankees in 1932, on Gehrig helping him adjust during his rookie year.
Lou’s character was likeable, even for a kid reading about him decades after he passed, to the point I had to play first-base (just like Lou). (Actually, he was originally right-handed (most first-base players are left-handed). His parents were poor, but bought him a baseball mitt. It was for the wrong hand, but Lou, appreciating what his parents did for him, learned to throw with his other hand. What a guy! What a dumbass, right?)
Back to the influencers, I mean Influencers. Another way to spot an influencer is to endeavor at their attention, thus likely begetting alienation.
I know! It’s all so deliciously ironic! The same people who build businesses, branding themselves as experts, are at times, the same ones who will make those who revere and respect them feel like they’re not good enough for their response, in some cases, snubbing the very same people who promote and pay for their services! LOL-Epic!
Do you know who’s a big, dumb-dumb stupidhead? James Agate is. No, James isn’t a big dummy because he is wicked smart and an incredibly keen marketer and businessman. He’s a dummy because he actually cares. Wake up, James! What will influencers think about you slumming!
I recently discussed my thoughts on the topic with James. This is what he had to say via email.
(He’s real! (pun intended))
I agree, I like to respond wherever I can and where I think it warrants a response.
Have a good weekend…What a good guy…What a sucker!
I would deem James an influencer, but he is not about alienation. Maybe he’ll come to his senses one day.
Go ahead. Peruse some blogs of popular influencers and peers, especially taking note of those who have numbers of unanswered blog comments. That solidifies stardom -having scores of unanswered comments on posts written for the purpose of communicating with others.
It’s especially cool if you can catch influencers and peers being active on Twitter, a social network. It sometimes creates the perfect opportunity to be snubbed on a public platform. That’s what you want! That’s why you follow these people after all, to learn good marketing skills like ignoring others!
- Don’t just tweet their post and their handle name. Sure, this still supports alienation, but you’re better than that. What you really want to do is show them you took the time out of your trivial trailer park of a life to read their thoughts.
Pull something out to champion their work, or better yet, ask them a direct question, expressing interest. Getting dissed for being interested is even better than getting ignored just because you’re one of many! I should know! I love it when influencers spray me with their juice of silence.
That’s why we communicate online! F living normal lives, communicating, and being human with other people. We’ve progressed, allowing for online, microcosmic, “no one knows who I am out of my online ivory tower of delusion,” incommunicado. It’s great!
You could satiate your self, learning and evolving with people who are receptive, but don’t you really want to drive those Lexus relationships, though the former, Toyota-variety of people are composed of the same parts, perhaps even performing better in some instances?
Don’t you realize Knowledge and Success are founded in high-school like endeavors? Only the most popular can attain those things.
Sean, Patrick, and myself know this. That’s why we strive to regress; we’re not all there! Do not follow us into temptation of these insanely unproductive and useless enterprises, which involve engaging peers, learning, evolving, and encouraging one another.
However, if you do like our style of doing things and our insanity, you always have a seat here at the Saloon.
Now, get the hell out of here. :)
Anthony Pensabene is a writer and business strategist. He works with peers and clients on a variety of projects and willing to accept all forms of payment in return for good work. He moonlights as a professional Laser Tag player and writes bios in third-person. Please share in his composed adventures at Content Muse.